Responsibilties

Responsibilities

The best feeling came first in this episode. Let us say that, we have, from the very beginning, been on the top of a mountain, and that, we are to be here for a while, that there is no hurry to go elsewhere. We have balance up here at the peak, it is not as if anything is disturbing us.

So the best feeling came when things were far off. But not, contrary to what many have come to believe, when things are far and getting further. And, it is not that this event does not make one happy, but it is a case of whether the happiness arrives easily or is more harder to come by. It is not as if, when things are pushed further, one is more happy. Rather, it is a peculiar type of happiness that comes from responsibilities coming closer...and we are not mistaken here, for it is a happiness first and foremost, even though, with time, it may appear to have been shrouded by other feelings. One can call these things responsibilities only if one is to generalize, if one is to believe in the general picture of things, if one is to not move too close and trust this current perspective. But, in fact, there are some that have real meaning, more than the more subjective interpretation that it is a responsibility, it is rather, something else, a thing, at the last instance...and to return to the subjective, which one is always apt to do, it is nothing other than something that one can savor.

And whoever finds, at this distance, a feeling of satisfaction, an intensity of contentment, a willingness to stay there, a death, does not see something which others have considered special: that these things which one will eventually encounter are in fact alive, and not in the sense that each individual thing is alive, and has a certain personality, or that its aliveness is imposing....but rather, it is only a dance, a dance of a swaying motion...this way and that way, and it causes a philosophical assertion to develop, which passes as a bell ringing in the stillness of the void: that this is a dance based on the footsteps of one's walk in the path towards responsibilities.

It is, in fact, quite 'short sighted' to only observe the dance in all this. For, to know what is really going on, consider this: the whole aesthetic of this is, to put it a way, 'correct.' Everything fits in, there are no points that seem disparate, and there is no feeling, the general uneasy feeling fused with paranoia, that there are invisible elements in this. The things are shining, and a general wind is blowing, and the sound of one's footsteps as the sound of drums with loosely woven leather...and everything feels correct.

And what is going on most well, what is most fitting, in this path towards responsibilities is nothing other than the path itself. When one turns around, the path starts nowhere, and when one looks forward, the path is quite picturesque, winding around like a snake and shining golden in the gold...therefore what one actually falls in love with, and is happy about, is nothing but the path, in relation to which even the responsibilities seem distant.

Now in close proximity to the responsibilities, one sees and contemplates more on the things that one knew all along: that there are things that one wanted, and there are things that one did not want, but, most of all, one finds that the thing is taut: it doesn't yield, which is to say that one has finally entered the general realm where experience is paramount. And this experience is quite extreme, it is not simply the experience where one believes that this encounter with responsibilities is transitory, rather, this is the final encounter, this is where the path ends...and one turns around and one sees the path winding golden, and one knows that there is a great chance, an enormous chance, that one stand back from this encounter and trace the path back to nowhere...for, in a way, these things aren't responsibilities yet. But what is special about this character, this one that we have here, is that he gives in to the encounter, and he lets the encounter consume him, he takes it all, he is a fully responsible being.